well being

So as of right now it's about 3am on this cold Sunday morning in Seoul. The anime gang left my place not too long ago, and even though I am somewhat tired at the moment, I feel my best course of action would be to simply stay up and forgo my sleep for the night. After all, I do have all of tomorrow evening to nap if need be. And besides, if I did choose to fall asleep at this moment I would probably only end up being more tired in the long run and in fact miss the sunrise that I have sought to experience these past few weeks. There's really not that long to wait till morning and I can always keep myself busy writing, reading or listening to la musique.

I can't believe how much different my life here has become during these past few months. When I first got to Korea I was so very much on my own all the time, but now...now it seems like there's always something going on, something to partake in, something to fill the unending void of hours that stretch out before me like an empty blank canvas. I'd even go so far to say that my life here has become more socially adept than it ever was back home. Here I seem to have taken on this strange new role as one who plans things instead of just following along in the background like I was always more apt to do before. Has coming here and putting myself in such a foreign situation changed me so drastically? Was it really that I once again placed myself in this sink or swim position? It seems like whenever my life starts to get too dull or unbearable I always try to solve my problems by picking up and just running away. But maybe there's more to it than that. Maybe I'm only just trying to prove my own courage, my own ability to stand against the wind and fly unhindered by anything that might have come before. And maybe this was the ultimate test of my strength, because by simply coming here I proved that anything is possible if I only put my mind to it. And in doing so, I have opened up the future so much wider than it ever was before. It seems the possibilities are endless...

From here I can do anything. From here I can jump off this precipice and soar higher than I've ever dared before. I don't think I've had so many opportunities available to me...it's really a refreshing change.

So anyway, perhaps I am a bit more contemplative tonight than I otherwise would be. Maybe it's the lateness of the hour, or the lingering glow of spending an evening with good friends...or maybe it's a combination of everything rolled into one. In any case, I feel different tonight. For once, I feel well.